Jakey, I woke up this morning wondering if the Sun missed you as the planets passed by this year, wondering if its rays searched for you in unfamiliar faces like I do in crowded places, if it's beams noticed when it had started retracing it's steps this morning and hadn't come across you, as it … Continue reading 23
Author: kpuddister3
A Year of Love and Loss
Dear Jake, Today is a hard day to describe, but then again, I bet you know that. It feels like both 9 minutes and 9 years since my heart has had the privilege of beating in sync with yours. The overwhelming wave of trauma, grief, and sadness that usually laps at my feet, ebbing and … Continue reading A Year of Love and Loss
National Sibling Day
This morning I did what I usually do. I opened my eyes, rolled over a few times, reached out for Lucy, and eventually picked up my phone. I headed to Facebook (as I too often do), and my thumb did what it does so well, and I started scrolling. I was only two minutes in … Continue reading National Sibling Day
Happy Birthday, bro
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday my Jakey, Happy Birthday to you. Your first birthday in heaven. The first birthday since the day you were born that I don't get to sing to you. I woke up this morning missing you more than I ever have. The hole in my heart … Continue reading Happy Birthday, bro
Let’s Talk
It's been five months since I've kissed your face. Five months since that last time I would ever hold you close to my heart. I got married without you in October. I walked down that aisle and until I got to my beautiful Ju the only face I could see was yours. We faced … Continue reading Let’s Talk
60 Days
Two months. Two months since I touched your face. Two months since I said I love you to the back of your head as you walked into moms house. I wish I knew the exact time. That precise last minute and image is so hazy now, all mixed up with the sadness. Some days you're all … Continue reading 60 Days
World Suicide Prevention Day
It's been 16 days since I've hugged you. 16 days of grief. 16 days of pure love. I woke up this morning not knowing how to approach today. I still don't, if we're being honest. I'm still navigating my way through each minute I'm awake with a heart that is so raw it sits uncomfortably … Continue reading World Suicide Prevention Day
With Jake's Heart 